


if you close your eyes ( and you pick a side )

by smartbuckley



Series: burned before the fire [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Cult leaders, Cults, Culture Shock, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Domestic Violence, Drowning, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gen, Good boss Athena Grant, Good boss Bobby Nash, Hurt Evan 'Buck' Buckley, Hurt Maddie Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Shitty Buckley Parents, Stalking, Team as Family, Torture, Whump, alternating povs, mild descriptions of blood/gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:44:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartbuckley/pseuds/smartbuckley
Summary: Buck can feel himself shaking, and looking towards Maddie, he knows.All hell has broken loose.--------------------------Or, the one where Buck and Maddie's parents make a reappearance in their lives, causing absolute chaos as they try to deal with the fallout, all while their relationships with others grow.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Holy mother of god, I present to all of you, my first chaptered fic and series in the 9-1-1 fandom. I have been working on this since season one first aired, and I saw that Buck didn't recognize a popular movie in pop culture. It only grew when Maddie didn't either. I don't know how long it's going to be yet, but I do have most of this story planned. It's the second fic in a series. The first fic isn't posted yet, since it's a 3x06 coda that wasn't meant to be part of the series, but I decided it would be, aha. 
> 
> Speaking of - this story is canon up until season 3 episode 6. After which, it becomes canon divergent. Because I highly doubt anything that happens in this will happen in the show, lol. That being said, I may grab some things from future episodes to add into this story, so who knows.
> 
> Mind the tags. Not all tags are added - they will be updated as each chapter is added, with a note to what's been added, so you guys can protect yourself. While there's nothing _too_ explicit in this chapter (or, at all), future chapters will be explicit, so please stay safe ♥ Also, don't let the tags scare you, lol. This story will have plenty of fluff between Buddie and Madney and all of the other pairings and between Buck, Maddie and the rest of the 118 and Dispatcher staff. It's a group/firefam fic, where they learn more about well, the Buckley's.
> 
> Chapter amount isn't set in stone. Might raise, might lower. We'll see. Chapter isn't edited, apologies for any mistakes.
> 
> Lastly, obviously, liberties were taken here with how cults are run, and the judicial system is run. Please don't yell at me. Happy readings :)

The fire station was loud, bodies everywhere as Buck made his way up the stairs with Maddie by his side. It had been a couple of weeks since everything had happened -- from the tsunami, to the lawsuit, to his and Eddie’s big fight after finding out the man was street fighting, and it was the first time that everyone was able to make it for a dinner, kids included. For the first time in months, Buck felt like everything was perfect in his life - Maddie and he were getting help with their problems, Maddie and Chim were okay after having their first big fight (which, when Buck had learned about it in the first place, had surprised the hell out of him), Buck was completely back on the team and in control of his medication and most importantly, Buck and Eddie were okay with one another, slowly opening up about everything they had felt during the past few months, to the point where Buck was slowly thinking about asking the other man out, finally comfortable in the belief that Eddie would very much say yes.

Maddie and he playfully knocked shoulders with grins, laughing as they finally made it to the top of the staircase before heading towards the kitchen area, both planning on helping Bobby do  _ something _ . Maddie had immediately grabbed the plates, moving to go set them up at the table, while Buck himself had gone to help Bobby with the actual food, the two of them having progressed way past breakfast foods in the timespan since Buck first started learning. Being in such a good mood, Buck only really focused on Bobby and the conversation they were having, though he did grin at Eddie and Christopher every few minutes, watching them watch what looked to be the news on the television, wrinkling his nose in distaste before he went back to helping cook, rolling his eyes when Athena came around, asking if the food was safe if he was the one making it.

“Hardy har,” he chuckles, body completely relaxed as he listens to everyone laughing around him, feeling completely content and like nothing could go wrong in the world. Which, admittedly, probably should have put him on edge more, but in that moment, it wasn’t something that the Hershey native was thinking about. He hears Maddie laugh while she places the cutlery down, wondering when she had grabbed those before shrugging it off, trying his hardest to focus on the food so it doesn’t burn, knowing that that’s always been his biggest problem.

Luckily, there’s no around to shame him to the point of shaking if he  _ does _ , but that’s not something he really wants to think about in a moment like this, and wonders why the thought even popped up in the first place, since he hasn’t thought about that time of his life in a long time. He shakes the thoughts away, grinning at May when she appears next to him to try and take some of the vegetables, gently tapping her hand with the spoon before he grins and the other kids that had followed her giggle, Hen snorting softly as she watches on.

“Stir-fry?” Buck hears, and he nods his head, grabbing the sauce that Bobby had left out before adding it to the pan, grinning when it sizzles in response. He doesn’t say too much though while he’s cooking, still not wanting to get distracted, but he does let the sounds wash over him as everyone has their own conversation, focusing in on Maddie and then Eddie and Christopher, unable to stop himself from checking in on the three people he cares most about in the world, a grin on his face.

“I think the pan’s good to sizzle on low, Buckaroo,” he hears Bobby, and Buck nods his head, covering it with the lid and then turning down the dial on the stove, doing a few shoulder moves to release the pent up tension that had formed there while he was cooking, grinning while he does so.

“What d’ya think, Cap? Fit for the 118?” He questions, knowing Bobby’s answer but asking him anyways, chuckling when Bobby simply hums, looks and then shrugs, smirking the entire time. It’s a small game they play -- something they’ve always done, Bobby knowing that Buck thrives off the responses the team will give him when they take their first bites of whatever it is he cooked.

“I’m sure you’re food is good, Buck,” Maddie teases, having walked away from the couches and television in order to grab herself a glass of water. Buck can’t help but scoff and then grin at his sister, shaking his head with his arms folded in front of him.

“Better than whatever it is you end up cooking,” he teases, watching carefully as Maddie laughs and the twinkle in her eyes grow while she nudges him before making her way back to where everyone is gathered, a breaking news alert being broadcasted. Buck stops paying attention then, not wanting to watch the news and ruin his good mood with whatever is going on in the world, knowing the empathy he feels will suffocate him if he does.

Rolling his eyes, he turns towards Bobby and Athena, opening his mouth to say something before a loud shattering crash is made, causing Buck to frown and turn around, seeing his sister immediately with glass surrounding her, eyes wide and body trembling. Buck makes his way to her immediately, body tense as he wonders what could possibly garner that response, his arms going under her own so there’s something she can rest against, eyebrows furrowed as he asks her what’s wrong, before she nods towards the television.

His heart falls to his stomach as he turns towards the television before he begins pounding, his own eyes widening as his hands began clutching Maddie’s wrists, tightening his hold a little too tightly, even though she says nothing. He focuses everything he has on the television, listening to the words but not really hearing them.

_ “Breaking news in Los Angeles today. It’s reported that Pennsylvania cult leaders, Simon and Natasha Oliver have been released from prison on good behaviour. The two have been in prison for nearly fifteen years, placed there by two of their children, for child endangerment and abuse, murder, soliciation and more. When interviewed, Simon and Natasha have stated they plan on heading towards our city for a retirement, and to gather their family back up _ ,” the news reporter states, showing an image of the man and woman leaving jail and then, a court house. Buck can feel himself shaking, and looking towards Maddie, he knows.

All hell has broken loose.

* * *

_ Fifteen Years Ago _

“Lillian, c’mon, we need to hurry up if we don’t want to get caught,” he whispers, kneeling in the bushes while scanning the complex of buildings behind him to make sure no one is sneaking up, ready to drag him and his sister back to their torture chambers. His heart is pounding inside his chest as Lily watches his front, their palms sweaty as they slowly run their way to another bush. They both know they can’t get caught, not again, because getting caught means getting sent back to the empty barn. And getting sent there means being tied up and  _ hurting _ , hurting so bad, to the point where he cries and she screams, and nothing is ever fun.

But they have to do this, and it’s something they know they have to do, or they’ll die by the hands of their parents, even if they never actually felt like parents, or treated the two of them the way parents should treat their children. He takes a deep breath before running to another bush, trying not to trip over some spare sticks that haven’t been cleaned up. He cringes at the person whose job that was, knowing their beating will be worse tomorrow because they’ll be taking the beating of a lifetime due to the anger of his father over tonight, but it’s not something he can think about right now.

“Nate,” Lily whispers and he turns around, frowning when he notices she’s fallen slightly behind. Not thinking anything of it, he grabs her hand, fingers interlacing with hers before they both began running, away from the bushes, and their cover, completely out in the open fields in front of the entire complex. They’re out in the open now, and the thought is terrifying, but they have to keep running, because not doing so means death, means torture, means staying in this godforesaken place, and he  _ hates _ it. They need to get past the entrance, he knows. Once they’re past the entrance to their  _ community _ , no one will follow them, and then it will be a short run to the nearest police car that they were told was going to be waiting for them.

They weren’t the first ones to escape this place, their parents, but they were the first ones trying to escape with evidence of all of the wrong-doing their parents had done. They were never supposed to have seen the bodies being buried, they were supposed to believe their parents like everyone else when some lie was fed to them --  _ literally, fed to them _ \-- but Nate couldn’t let that happen, wanted to vomit at the thought of letting it happen. They were still running though, still focused on running until both of them turned around at the sound of their parents screaming for them, running to try and catch up with them. Nate could hear his father yelling out Nathaniel, and he knew he couldn’t let them be caught. 

“We’ve gotta go faster, Lils,” he whispers, squeezing his sister’s hand and speeding up, both of them panting by now as she nods. She might be the older one between them, but Nate has always taken the brunt of the punishments their father doled out to her, and both know that if they’re caught tonight, they’ll be dead.

“A little bit further, Nate,” Lily whispers, both of their strides becoming longer as the gate comes into view completely. Looking at one another with a grin, they break open the gate with their bodies, running through it and whooping loudly, feeling something leave them as they continue running past everything, towards the spot the police officer said they’d be hiding out in.

They were free. Finally.

**************************

“Alright, if you two could just sit here, that would be great,” the kind police woman asked, kneeling down to their levels while both nodded. Nate knew that Lily didn’t like the police officer kneeling down, especially since she was 18 and he was fourteen and they could both handle themselves.

They had proven time and time again that they could handle themselves, Nate thinks, but unlike his older sister, he doesn’t harbor any negative feelings towards the action, just smiles at the older woman and nods his head, looking at the door every few minutes, expecting his father to come barrelling through.

But he never did, and eventually, Nate and Lily were able to share the evidence they had managed to grab before running away. Locations of bodies, video tapes with torture, scars on their own bodies - burns on Lily’s feet and the fear of water in Nate’s soul. There are names of people who have helped, names of people who have escaped, and names of people who haven’t.

Both Nate and Lily know that if their parents were to ever catch them again, they would be in so much trouble, and it’s for that exact reason that they agree to never bring this up again when all is said done. But there are so many questions, and they’re tired, because running takes a lot of work, and they haven’t -- they’ve never been fed properly. Just looking at them, you can tell there’s something different about them.

And it makes Nate angry, because he can’t stand the judgmental gazes he gets, or the looks of pity that crosses someone’s face. He can’t stand  _ any _ of it. But he lets everything continue, because he knows that this is what they asked for when they first met the police officer. And he’s absolutely alright with that, because it means that once they get to court, and the questions are revealed with the answers, everything will turn out fine.

And it does. The court case isn’t very long -- a jury having decided rather quickly that their parents were guilty. There were so many questions, even then -- especially then -- asked by a guy that Nate didn’t like, and his parents didn’t like (he could tell, though he wishes that he couldn’t) but Lily did, and that set him on edge but he knew that it wasn’t something he could control.

But the jury found him guilty, and he was told it was because of him and Lily going on the stand and admitting to everything. He was thankful, so thankful, because his parents were going away for life and everyone else who was involved would be going away at different places, and Lily and he absolutely could start over. Thank the heavens for that.

He ignored it when his parents yelled at them, when they screeched they would find them. Because he knew he would always have Lily, even if she did get that one guy’s phone number, after finding out he was an intern of some sort, which, was that even legal?

Nate shook the thought out of his head before he and Lily walked down the court steps, ignoring all of the reporters and people asking  _ more _ questions, because they could. His heart pounded and he wondered if Lily could feel it. They were free, but they didn’t feel free.

Later that night, as they camped on a hill, looking up at the stars, Lily voiced the question that one of the older, more important people had asked them.

“What should we call ourselves?” Nate stays quiet, wondering. He doesn’t like his name. Never has.

_ Nathaniel Evan Oliver _ . It’s gross, he thinks. Reminds him of his father, whose middle name was Nathaniel. He didn’t want that link. He didn’t want any link to his father. He lets out a soft breath, feeling unsure. They’re leaving for good - going to Los Angeles, apparently, and he doesn’t know how to feel about that.

“Nate?” He hears, and he looks towards his sister with a frown. 

“Do you remember that drink, the lawyer lady was drinking? It was kind of purple in color?” She asks, and Nate nods, barely remembering it but remembering the lady saying it was because she had a cold. Nate didn’t know what that was, but he wondered, nonetheless.

“I was thinking maybe we could have that as a last name,” she whispers, and he frowns, tilting his head up to look at the sky.

“Buck..leys?” He asks, remembering the label. He can’t help but wrinkle his nose, smiling softly when Lily giggled in response.

“How about just, Buckley,” she answers after a few moments, and Nate hums, imagining it.

_ Nathaniel Buckley. Lilian Buckley. Nate Buckley. Lily Buckley _ .

“Can we change our first names, too?” He asks, biting on his lower lip as he looks at his sister, wondering if she’ll turn down his idea, hoping she doesn’t. She stays quiet for a few minutes, humming before she nods.

“I was thinking maybe Maddie. Short for Madeline, which no one will  _ ever _ call me,” she chuckles while Nate grins. Her middle name is Madeline, the same way their Mom’s middle name is Lillian, just like his Dad with Nathaniel, and Nate can’t help but grin.

“What do you think about Evan?” He asks, his sister looking towards him with her own grin.

“Maddie and Evan Buckley,” she whispers and he sucks back a breath, eyes widening as he realizes how much he enjoys those names. Looking at Lil --  _ Maddie _ \-- he realizes she’s come to the same realization, and they both grin at one another.

“This will take some getting used to,” she says and he nods his head before sitting up, watching as she joins him, holding his hand.

“To the end, right Mads?” He asks, grinning when she giggles, already enjoying the new nickname to her new name in general, nodding her head in agreement.

“To the end, Evan. Just you and I. No more Oliver’s,” she whispers, the two wrapping their arms around one another as the night goes on.

* * *

_ Present Time _

“How do you know they’re in Los Angeles, Simon?” She whispers into the dark, careful not to look towards her husband, still not used to being around him like this, all of the time, after all of this time.

“He was on the news, a few months back. Had a fire truck fall on him,” Simon whispers in return, hands caressing his wife’s palm while he lights a cigar, grinning. “And we both know Lillian would follow Nathaniel anywhere,” he added, while Natasha nods, humming thoughtfully.

“Do they still go by Oliver?” 

“No, I don’t think so. I never heard what the report was saying, with the firetruck falling on him, but we’ll look it up before we get our community settled. Speaking of - have you been able to contact everyone?”

“Almost everyone, yes. Our most loyal will return to us, with their kids and their kids’ kids. But after we were betrayed, a lot of our numbers left for good. We’ll have to regrow them.”

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard, should it? Los Angeles is a big city. I’m sure our charisma can charm more than enough people,” Simon states, lips quirked up to form a smirk as his wife laughs.

“Most definitely. And then -- and then we can get our children back, and remind them just what happens when they disobey our laws -- and us,” she replies as Simon continues smirking back at her, both of them fading into the seats of the bus they’re on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait, guys. I re-wrote this chapter two times in the past two weeks before liking it enough to post it this time, the third time. I'm trying to post on Saturdays, but since I felt bad for missing the past two Saturday's, I posted today. You may get a chapter on the 23rd, but if you don't, you'll definitely get one on the 30th. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Triggers for panic attacks and a light description of gore/dead bodies. Tags have been updated, so stay safe.

She can’t breath. She clenches her fingers, and then unclenches them, and then clenches them again. A part of her wishes she was still holding onto the glass she had dropped when she had first heard the news, but she isn’t, and she doesn’t know what to do without it. She still can’t breath, even when she feels Buck come up behind her and wrap his arms around her. She can’t breath, but she  _ is _ breathing, and her breathing is coming out too fast for her to try and calm herself. She’s thankful Buck is behind her, and she wonders if he’s trying to calm her down, but she’s unable to focus on that, too busy staring at the television with narrowed eyes.

She can only see her parents.

It’s been  _ years _ . And after Doug, she thought she had moved on from them but clearly, with the way she’s reacting, that’s not the case. God, she wishes that was the case. She can vaguely hear Howie at her side, but she steps away from him and into Buck. She knows he’s hurt by that, but Maddie can’t focus on that right now, a small whimper escaping from her as she closes her eyes and shakes her head. She can hear Buck whispering to her, trying to help calm her down, and she’s so damn thankful for him, because he’s probably going through the exact same panic she’s going through and instead of cowering into himself, he’s helping her.

He’s always been kind of amazing that way, ever since they were kids. Even though she was older, he was always the one doing the protecting. She hated that, hated that he had to protect her instead of the other way around, and it’s why she’s tried so hard to protect him now that she’s back but in this moment --

Right now, she doesn’t know what to do or how to feel, because the mugshot of her parents are staring at her, and then the news is playing video of them leaving a courthouse and  _ god _ , when on Earth did any of this happen, and why on Earth weren’t Buck and her made aware of it?

“Maddie? Buck?” Maddie hears Bobby question, the man having stepped closer from the kitchen, everyone else watching them wearily. Maddie can see Howie looking at her with hesitance, and she hates that she put that look on his face, hates that she can’ get herself to smile at him, telling him everything is going to be alright, because in this moment, Maddie doesn’t know if everything  _ is _ going to be alright.

She also spots Christopher and Eddie watching her brother carefully, and for a brief moment, her heart soars over the fact that Buck has seemingly found himself a family that he fits so perfectly with. Ever since she first heard about Eddie from Buck, she knew her brother was attracted to the other man, but wondered if he would ever be willing to do anything about it. She wasn’t too sure he would, with how they were raised, how they were taught that anything between the same gender would be  _ wrong _ . But Buck -- Buck proved her wrong by the way he treated Eddie and talked about Eddie and eventually Christopher was added onto that. And Maddie wondered how long it would take Buck to do something about it, had even teased him a little about it. But then the tsunami happened, and the lawsuit, and Maddie -- Maddie felt like Buck was broken more than he would ever admit, even to her, and she hated that. She absolutely hated that, especially when it appeared like Eddie wasn’t there to help pull Buck out of the depression she knew her brother was falling into.

But eventually, he was. And eventually, things were getting back to normal between the two of them, and Maddie couldn’t be more happy for her brother. Not with everything they had gone through together.

“Maddie --” Buck whispers and Maddie turns her head to look at her brother, eyes still wide as she remembers why she was nearly panicking, eyes flicking back to the television as a small whimper escapes from her. She can feel Buck’s arms wrap around her completely and squeeze her, and she’s so thankful for him in that moment that she can’t help but rest her head on his shoulder before letting out a small sigh and then a small smile at her brother.

“We’re going to have to explain, aren’t we?” She whispers, eyes watering as she tries to keep looking at Buck, wondering what’s going through his mind in this moment, hoping his eyes will help her with that knowledge. It was something neither of them ever wanted -- explaining who they were, where they came from -- having to  _ remember _ all of that.

When they changed their names, when they left Pennsylvania and came out to LA, they did it under the guise that this was their life now, that everything that happened  _ before _ , never happened at all, not to anyone outside, at least. But now their parents are out and it’s like everything has come crashing down on them and Maddie --

Maddie wonders if this is what Buck felt during the tsunami, being pulled under with no way up, no matter how much he tried to be free from the waves cascading over top. She watches her younger brother throughout her thoughts, watches as he watches her back, can see him biting his lower lip in thought. Maddie’s not an idiot - she knows that he’s just as nervous as she is about this, about having to admit to everything they went through in their life.

“Not everything, maybe,” Buck whispers after a few minutes, and Maddie can’t help but smile, wondering if he can read minds - something she’s always thought about, admittedly, with the two of them. 

“We’ll have to explain our reactions to the news, definitely,” Maddie whispers while Buck nods, his hold tightening briefly while he blows out a breath, and Maddie wonders what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. She wants to ask, but Athena steps close to the two of them with her arms folded in front of her chest, and Maddie knows that they’re going to have to explain soon, that their family is needing answers.

That, even if they’re  _ found family _ , they deserve to have some answers. They have the right to ask the questions that are clearly running through their mind, and Maddie is terrified that if they receive those answers, they’ll all judge the two of them, and she can’t stop her lower lip from trembling as Buck kisses the top of her head and nods against it after a few minutes of silence.

“Can we sit down?” Buck asks the group after he pulls away from Maddie. Immediately, she misses the feeling of security and safety that he offered, but she can see everyone nodding, Karen and Hen making room for the two of them while Eddie and How sit on the floor in front, causing Maddie to smile a little as her fingers tremble against her knees once she finally sits down, feeling faint.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Maddie says, her voice quiet while she watches Bobby turn off the stove and then sit down next to everyone else, hands joining with Athena.

“It’s okay. You can take your time.” Bobby says and Maddie blows out a breath, nodding her head while looking towards Buck, wondering if he has any idea of where to begin himself. He’s looking at her already though, and when he shrugs, Maddie lets out a small huff of frustration, biting her lower lip before she looks at everyone else and nods her head.

“Maybe it’s better if one of you asked questions - or you guys take turns asking us questions. That might be better,” Buck says, and she continues nodding her head, having just been about to say that herself. She can see the team agreeing internally, and something inside of her relaxes at that.

“Who were those people to you?” Athena questions and Maddie can hear Buck let out a snort of laughter, and she  _ knows _ , deep down inside of her soul, it’s because it’s such an Athena thing to do - get straight to the heart of the matter, no nonsense. 

“Our parents,” Maddie answers, and she can see everyone’s eyes widen, some people gasping in surprise. 

“Your parents?” Howie asks and Maddie nods, feeling her heart sink, though she has no idea why, since she knows Howie’s only asking because he’s in disbelief.

“The news piece said they were in jail, though. For being cult leaders---” Eddie begins, eyes wide as he looks as Buck and Maddie notices Buck nodding, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

“Yes. Fifteen years ago.” Buck answers, and Maddie can see his hands shaking, knows he hates talking about this as much as she does, and without a thought, she places her hand in his own and squeezes, hoping to offer him some form of comfort. He turns to her and smiles gratefully, and Maddie lets out a small laugh when he turns back to everyone else.

“We were young, and we grew up in a cult. But we couldn’t handle…” Buck pauses here, frowning, trying to think of the right words and Maddie wonders, wonders if he’ll tell them about the abuse and the torture, but before she can get too caught up in those thoughts, Buck is continuing, “We couldn’t handle  _ everything _ that that place was. And when shit became too much, Maddie and I snuck out, and we found someone who could help us. Sure, we were forced back, punished again for sneaking out, but we knew -- we knew it would be the last time, providing we weren’t caught. And the next time we left, we left for good, with evidence, and --”

“And we put our parents in jail,” Maddie finishes for Buck, squeezing his hands when she can see him becoming more and more emotional throughout the story. Everyone is silent for a few moments and Maddie stays just as silent as they do, wondering what they’re thinking. 

“Your parents were  _ cult leaders _ ?” 

“You were in a cult?”

“You sent your parents to jail?”

“Are you okay?” Questions come at them from what seems like everywhere, and the last question comes from Eddie when Buck flinches, Buck never having done well with being questioned by numerous people all at once -- or by one person, at all, if he didn’t know them. Maddie understood, and watched her brother for a few minutes before arching an eyebrow at Eddie with a small grin while Buck nods.

“Just don’t do too well with questions being shouted at me,” Buck chuckles while everyone looks embarrassed for having done that. They remain silent for a few minutes before Maddie sees Buck let out a small huff of breath, fingers from his left hand running through his hair while Maddie squeezes his right hand.

“Yes, we sent them to jail. No, we’re not okay. We came to Los Angeles to get away from  _ everything _ , including the past, and the memories, and  _ them _ . And now they’re here, and from the sounds of it ---

“They’re looking for you,” Athena interrupts while Maddie nods, wiping at the tears that had started falling during her statement, smiling at Hen when the other woman squeezes her shoulder to comfort her. 

“It’s a terrifying thought, you know. We put them in jail with the understanding that we’d never see them again. And that, somehow, if they came out of jail, they’d stay in Hershey god damn Pennsylvania,” Maddie sobs, Buck squeezing her hand.

“It’s my fault,” he whispers and Maddie’s eyes snap to his while she shakes her head, denying his thoughts but unable to get the words out of her mouth.

“No, it is. I’ve been interviewed more than once - first with the rollercoaster incident, then with my leg. And after the tsunami? And the lawsuit? The one-eighteen was in the news a lot, especially with my name popping up,” Buck responds and Maddie makes a noise in the back of her throat, but she’s also not the only one.

“Buckaroo, no,” Howie says while Hen nods, and Maddie smiles at her boyfriend, trying to ignore the butterflies in her stomach, not surprised she still has them when it comes to him.

“Yes, you were in the news, but there’s no way you could’ve known they would be able to see it was you, or see the news in general,” Karen says, sympathy in her voice while Buck hums, clearing not believing the words but not wanting to fight about it, either.

“You couldn’t have ever known they would find you, Buck,” Bobby whispers and Maddie nods, looking towards him and wondering how well her words will be taken.

“We should leave,” she whispers, and everyone frowns, but Buck looks towards her with a nod, biting his lower lip. Maddie can’t stop noticing Eddie though, noticing how he’s looking between them carefully before his eyes widen and then narrow at Buck.

“After the lawsuit, and the street fighting, you said you would never leave again. Remember that? Are you really going to break your promise, Evan?” Eddie asks and Maddie -- Maddie can see the moment Buck’s heart breaks, his eyes closing as he leans forward and lets out a sob. She can see the words have hurt him, and Eddie, and even Christopher, who seems to be clueing in and Maddie --

“We don’t want you guys to get hurt. And our parents will try to hurt you,” Maddie whispers, looking at everyone carefully.

“I don’t want to leave, Eddie. But if it comes down to it - I’d rather leave then have my parents hurt you or gods, Christopher. I can’t let them hurt Chris, man,” Buck whispers, and Maddie watches as Eddie moves forward, his hands wrapping around Buck’s neck while Buck takes a deep breath before relaxing into the touch, surprising Maddie with the amount of trust Buck has for Eddie, since his neck has always been a sore spot for him.

“I will not let you leave, Buck. Stay, and we’ll help you. We’re family, man.” Maddie hears and she closes her eyes, looking up in surprise when she feels Howie’s hands on her cheek, smiling as he wipes the tears that have continued to fall from her eyes.

“I’m not letting you leave, either, Mads. I love you too much to let you walk away from me.” Hearing that, Maddie lets out another sob, squeezing Buck’s hand while leaning forward to kiss Howie.

A few minutes later, they’re separated, and she’s sitting with Howie next to her instead of Hen and her wife, with Eddie next to Buck, Christopher in his lap. If you had told her when they first ran away that this is what would happen in their lives, she would have never believed you, but seeing it now, seeing it in the moment, she could feel her heart soaring, and she wondered how long this feeling would last for, hopeful that it would be a while, at least, before her parents ruined it.

* * *

* * *

_ Fifteen Years Ago _

“It’s okay, you’re okay. Your parents aren’t going to be able to get you here,” Lily hears and she looks up at the woman in the no nonsense suit with narrowed eyes, not sure if she wants to trust her. Sure, the woman helped her and Nate get away from the compound safely, but if there’s one thing Lily learned while growing up, it’s that you  _ never _ knew who was under her parent’s charms. 

And because of that, she didn’t trust easily. She just wished Nate was the same way, because she knew he was probably telling the person questioning him  _ everything _ . Which worried her, because if the woman in front of her  _ wasn’t _ part of the compound, then that meant whomever was questioning Nate probably was.

Which meant she had to answer these questions as fast as possible so she could go and save Nate. No matter what.

“I know I’m okay. I found you, remember?” She responds back, voice cool as she tilts her head and folds her arms in front of her chest, a small smirk forming on her face as she plays the role she hasn’t wanted to play ever. It’s an image her parents formed, an image she  _ loathes _ , but if it gets her out of here faster, she’ll use it.

“That’s right, you did find me. Now, what can you tell me about the murders?” The woman asks, pushing forward photos of three dead bodies that Lily can’t help but flinch back from. They’re gruesome, skin splitting and blue, some with eyes open, which Lily hated seeing.

She knew these people. She  _ grew _ up with these people, loved them, and her parents murdered them because they weren’t obeying orders, or rules, and that was complete  _ bullshit _ . 

“Whatever you want to know,” She responds back, voice cold and back straight while the woman in the suit smirks and nods.

* * *

“It’s okay to be nervous,” Nate looks towards the man with a frown, shrugging his shoulders. He’s not nervous, not really -- he’s worried. Lily isn’t around, and he’s alone. He can handle himself, and he  _ knows _ Lily can handle herself, but he’d rather they be together in this moment. They’ve always done everything together, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse, like when their parents were doling out punishments, but they’ve never done things separately, and Nate -- Nate would rather not have to deal with that in this moment. So he’s not nervous, not really, but the person whose in front of him doesn’t need to know that.

He has to keep his cards close to his chest, after all. Or… was that the saying? Nate didn’t know. What he does know is that the man is watching him carefully, so he shrugs, then looks away, trying to appear diminutive in front of the man. It must work, since said man relaxes, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet up on the table, ankles crossed.

The move reminds Nate so much of his father that he had to blink, has to try and shake away the memory that it brings up, eyes narrowing as he looks up at the man and  _ wonders _ before blowing out a breath.

He’s just paranoid. He has to be. Surely his father’s reach wouldn’t end up all the way to the police force...right? Looking at the man, Nate arches one of his eyebrows, waiting for the man to ask him questions, because that’s what he felt was what the natural progression was meant to be but --

Nothing was happening though, and Nate was afraid of that. Because if nothing was happening, then you couldn’t be prepared for when something eventually  _ did _ happen. And if you couldn’t be prepared ---

The door slammed open, causing Nate to jump, eyes widening in surprise when he sees the woman from earlier coming into the room, a glimpse of Lily outside of the door causing him to relax, especially when he sees her smile at him.

Looking at the woman, Nate is still relaxed when she sits down in front of him, knocking the man’s legs off the table with a glare. “Now is not the time to play bad cop good cop, Stevens. Get out if you’re going to,” she snaps and Nate wants to smirk at the way the man falters before he nods and moves to the other side of the table. She makes Nate feel immediately at ease, and Nate --

Sings like a canary, in a way. He doesn’t know a lot about the murders, but he knew Lily did, so he wasn’t too worried about that. Everything was going fine, and then --

“What did they do to you, when you did something wrong?’ The man questions, sudden and it causes Nate to jolt, eyes widening as his heart rate picks up. 

“Why --”

“Did they physically hurt you? Or use their words? Or both?” The man asks, and Nate continues to blink, opening and closing his mouth while he looks towards the woman for help, though she’s not looking at him and glaring at the man.

“Why is that --”

“Did they torch the skin on your sister with a flamethrower? Did they make you drink water until you can't drink anymore? Did they use a whip --” Nate moves backwards, the chair screeching as his hands clench around the handles of the chair. His eyes are wide, and there’s a ringing in his ears as he begins panting, not sure why the man is asking these questions.

But more important,  _ how _ the man knows to ask these questions, because he’s hitting most of the punishments right on, and Nate doesn’t know how to feel about that. He can hear the woman asking him if he’s okay, but he’s still panting and he doesn’t --

‘Lily,” he gasps, and he knows the woman understands because immediately the door is thrown open and then Lily is there, eyes widening as she runs to him, yelling at the people in the room, arms wrapping around him as her front collides with his back.

“Nate, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here, and I’m not leaving. Just follow my breathing, alright?” She whispers and Nate can barely hear her but it’s instinct that he listens. He clutches at her arms, wrapped around his collarbone, fingernails leaving imprints into the first layer of Lily’s skin. He can hear the woman yelling at the man, kicking him out and slamming the door shut, yelling and screaming as another pair of people dressed like the woman but with badges take him away.

He doesn’t know how much time passes while Lily holds him, rocks him back and forth and whispers soothing words to him, but eventually, he shakes her off and lets out a small sob, rubbing his face with his hands, redness splotching on his cheeks as he looks at Lily, hating the fact that he’s appearing weak, even in front of his sister.

“He knew things, Lils,” Nate whispers, eyes wide as he looks at her and his heart feels like it’s stuck in a rhythm he can’t control. He wants to control it though, wants to be able to leave this room and walk through the halls with his head held high, not trembling and shaking like he is currently, even while sitting on his ass.

“He did?” Lily asks, but there’s something off about her voice and Nate finds himself looking up at her with narrowed eyes before dropping his mouth open in surprise.

“You knew --”

“No,” Lily shakes her head, squeezing his hands before letting out a breath, “I had an idea that Mom and Dad would have someone working here, and that they’d be questioning one of us, but I didn’t know  _ who _ . And I didn’t know what they would know. And the woman seemed fine to me, so I knew it was him but -- I wanted to give you some form of comfort, Nate. I swear, if I knew he was going to give you a panic attack, I wouldn’t have --” Lily begins talking more quickly, shaking her head before she’s stopped when Nate hugs her. 

“Thank you,” he whispers and Lily nods, letting out a soft breath before wrapping her arms around him once more, ignoring the way her legs begin to numb underneath her.

“We have to stick around for a while - continue answering their questions. Apparently, they’re going to arrest Mom and Dad when all of the evidence links up, and then when that happens, there’ll be a trial.” Lily adds and Nate nods, letting out a small breath before pulling away.

“What do we do next?” Nate asks while Lily shrugs, jumping when the door closes, not realizing it had opened and that -- she has to remember to pay more attention, she thinks.

“We’re going to hide you two in a secure location with guards. You’ll come in everyday until we have what we need. I’ll be with you as a pseudo guardian, though,” the woman from earlier says and Lily nods, biting her lip, watching as the woman smiles.

“My name is Tracie. And I promise, you’ll be safe.” She says and Lily --

Lily believes her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this. Let me know your thoughts in the comments, as I love concrit. ♥

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Reviews are absolutely loved, especially if there is some constructive criticism. If you want to, please come yell at me on my [tumblr](https://laumeidelfin.tumblr.com). Look out for chapter two, coming soon to a laptop screen near you ♥


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